Location: Enroute to Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
I’m on my new laptop, getting used to a new keyboard. This one seems to be very quiet, sleek. I will probably be able to get away with late night typing when I have roommates much more easily with this rig.
My last five days in Seattle were fun to say the least. The only time I ever played poker was a couple live sessions with Wbmustang and Sexuelity. I was high as fuck during each one, but felt really in my groove. I’m feeling really good going into the series.
WBMustang is a cool cat. Really chilled out SNG grinder, who is just starting his thing. Just met him in real life here over the last week. Seems to be really open-minded to criticism and improving his game.
I can’t remember where I left off in my last blog, since I don’t have internet. Just feels like a luxury to type on an airplane again. My old computer would cut out the second you unplugged it.
I have the Entourage DVDs too, so hopefully I can get to that if there’s any power left on this.
The last few days are a blur. I was couch surfing at so many of my friend’s places. I went out pretty much every night I could. I hung out with my Mom, saw my grandfather a few times, hung out with my sister, felt good doing all three.
Something about the vagrant lifestyle draws me. I am always restless, constantly on edge. Just being among people and having new experiences is one of the few natural things that relaxes me. Why I loved just going out in Malta or Korea, all the time, I just wanted to see something and be social in another place.
I just want to see what situations I can get myself into, sometimes even tight spots and see if I can get out. I feel half asleep a lot of the time. I want a new day to bring new things. I hate polite laughter, small talk, pleasantries, appointments, schedules.
I had so much respect for this guy in The Yakuza Diaries who was a white guy who just flew to Japan, learned the language, and did everything he could to learn as much as he could about the world’s largest criminal organization. He put himself in so many spots where he could’ve been killed, but he saw things nobody had ever seen before. That takes balls. That’s living.
Seattle there’s fewer adventures since I lived there for years, and I just ended up in some weird spots. It was whack I had a couple girls I met out invite me back to their places late and then just have that weird last minute freak out.
I was cool with it, part of the territory, but I hadn’t had that happen in Malta. I forget that American girls will make out, flirt, invite, and then have second thoughts. When you’ve gotten to that stage with a European girl you’re pretty much good no matter what.
Ah, how far I’ve come in life, loose girls and smoking weed every day.
Yeah, I smoked every day the week I was here. Every day. I just hit that potent Seattle weed, would grab my cell phone and wallet, and head out the door to see what would happen.
And I gamble for a living. Every adolescent’s fantasy.
I just want to believe this world is open and that people can connect. Just walking through all of Seattle while I was blazed, seeing all the different people and how beautiful the city looked when it was sunny, it was easy to believe.
This aloofness comes over me, this sedated uncaring nature. I say anything to anyone. Holden Caulfield.
End up at someone’s house in a new district, off a different road.
I have an addiction. Different races are different flavors, different homes are different settings, my mind set to be blank. My mind set to be away. I don’t want to write books about experiences I wish I had.
I turn it on and off. This week I wanted to be out there, experiencing my city again, seeing my friends, out there doing things. Now it’s time for the grind. I’m excited for Vegas but it’s more because I am craving stability again. I like to alternate, do crazy partying for a while, chasing any girl that moves, going to any show I can find, buying as many drinks as I can with my friends so I can smoke out the hangover in the morning.
Then I eventually always get sick of it. Might take a week, or a month, but I get sick of it. I go back to eating well every day, drinking tons of water, eight hours of sleep, little drinking or smoking, working out, only being around girls that won’t cause drama or get on my shit about anything. I write in the mornings, have my coffee, read for hours at a time.
I’ve been told my way of life is revolting, sinful. I feel perfectly fine. It motivates my writing and my game to be out in the world. I see where the money is going, towards an endless summer, towards never being told what to do, to chase experiences that might make a book someday.
Now I just gotta stop being a wannabe with the writing thing and get on the book.
That and if I ever feel like a real whore or uncaring hedonist asshole I always have Bond18’s blog to make me feel better. = P Don’t get me wrong though, I got mad love for that guy’s blog.
Although I have a tendency to just not give a shit about all that. Everyone watches Anthony Bourdain and loves him. So many people read blogs like this. Most people who talk shit about being like this, wish they were this. They have moral boundaries only because it’s convenient, and they enjoy the view from such a high horse.
In Vegas I’m probably just going to be trying to play as much poker as possible. I want to wake up and grind a live event and then when I’m done go back and grind. I will have to fit in working out otherwise I will go insane, but I am not sure about writing. It will all depend on how frantic the series will require me to be.
I’m psyched to play live tournaments again. Not that there is a ton of money in them (calculating your hourly in a $1k when you’re backed is so depressing) but just getting deep in live tournaments is one of my favorite things in the world. I’m hoping to put some money together here and then get out of the states again, for more relaxed pastures. I want to work really hard on writing after the series, so I want to grind as much as possible right now.
They just announced that we’re starting on our descent. Jerry from Pokerpwnage.com is supposed to be waiting for me to take me to the Pokerpwnage.com house. A lot of my friends are already in Vegas. This is going to be a fun (insanity-inducing) ride.
The lights go on forever here. The city is so flat.