We'd been standing in the line for about 15 minutes when they came out and announced that the last $1,500 before the main event was sold out. It was a pretty shitty ending to a pretty shitty day, which came at the end of what's been a pretty shitty series.
I'm thankful for a lot of things over the last month, but how I did in the WSOP is not one of them. Hanging out with good friends and having some good times, being able to treat them once in a while finally because I'm not so fucking broke, that was a blast. That was great. I also figured out what I wanted to do after Malta, which was really up in the air for a while after Daniel decided he didn't want to go to the Philippines.
All of that was well and good. Busting in the first four hours of every event I played wasn't.
The worst was I had such a huge stack in the first $1,000 so I got to see how the structure slowed down, and how you had time to slow roast the morons at your table deep. I wanted to get back to that all summer and haven't done it.
But hey, I don't want to complain. I just feel bad for my series backer. I wish less bullshit came up. I wish I handled some things better. But hey, no regrets, just gotta move on.
With the main event I'm kind of just taking a shot. I have money invested in myself in addition to my World Series deal so I have more than half of myself, and I have money in other people's main event. I've been playing the last few days on Stars trying to win seats so I could put some of my friends in who don't want to play on their own money, which blows my mind. Whatever though, I'll pick up their equity if I can, just put some genius cash game guys who happen to be bankroll nits in for 90/10.
Pretty much trying to get a really intense live poker high because I'm not going to be doing it as much over the next few months.
Or well, that's the plan. It's hard when you can raise money for yourself most of the time by just making a few phone calls, and going to a live tournament means getting away from your problems at home, wherever home is that day.
You get to be someone else in so many countries. If at home you're not really getting out, or you and your friends are becoming distant because your lifestyles are so different now, you can forget all of that and just leave. The first few days think of nothing but the tournament, play your heart out, and if you bust just go out into the city, remove yourself.
I was dependent on just having a diversion every month or so, because I never really did fit in Seattle. Now I just feel more comfortable with who I am and what I am doing. I don't feel the need to go chase death and dirty girls every few weeks. I want to chill out more, write a lot more. For some reason I've really wanted to learn how to surf too. Speak other languages.
Writing a book to me feels important. Poker is so variance-ridden, you're hanging onto the tide, doing something for yourself but often not much for others. A book is something I can say, "yeah, I did that." I wanted to be a writer from the time I was 12, way before poker, I just want one piece I can hold onto. I don't want to be one of those people that says, "yeah, I could have, I should have..."
The plan right now is a beach in Costa Rica. Chilling on the beach, writing, sipping a gin and tonic. A morning jog, a hippie speedball, and a señorita to mellow me out every day. Finish that book in a year.
Try to crush the big tournaments on my own dime. Get into backing a little. Move up in cash. All good hobbies.
My play here has become erratic. I want to get to a quieter place.
I bubbled a WSOP sat a few nights ago. I lost AK to A-4. Blanked flop, he turned the 4, I had 12 outs any way and bricked. This was after losing like four flips to go from a massive chip leader to 20 BBs. I felt like I should have been more pissed, especially considering this is my own bankroll now, but I just left it.
Then the next night I got a massive chip lead shorthanded for another one, winner take all. I had a psychotically crazy hand with Imalucksack 3bet/calling a 45 BB shove from me with A-8o, UTG versus SB. Sadly, the fucker was right, I had Q-10, but I turned the queen because (insert generic 'running good' joke here). But yeah, with like five left I lost KK to Q-9 and TT to A-2. It was fun.
I took a trip into the real world and saw Andrew Dice Clay with the contest winner Tony and Herschelw. Indariva came later, it was cool to meet all those guys. I felt kind of bad since I was so tired from grinding 24/7, and going with Toilet to Tao the night before. Andrew Dice Clay was pretty funny, but it was slow starting, there was some weird openers, and he kind of just seemed tired. We still had a good time though, and when he got going he was hilarious. Just fucking disgusting sometimes. I have thick skin but man, he pushes shit. A lot of the racist shit just feels so tired it gets hard for me to get into it.
The next day I played the 3k. Ran pretty much the way I have the entire World Series. Got every one of my opens threebet. I must just look psychotic. I never get respect, from hand one. No matter what I am wearing, what I say, zero respect. It's cool, I just have to deal with it, but man it got irritating. I bricked every flop, never had a real hand. I probably could've folded instead of opened once or twice, but I really just felt cold decked, and bored.
Mike Caro owned my soul. One time I iso-raised an EP limper and he had QQ behind me. Then I jammed a 26x stack over a raise and a call after he limped in, and then he of course fucking limped aces. Like seriously he limped so much with garbage. I just wanted to get a stack together, once this fucking series, and couldn't do it. It was so frustrating.
I just live for that really. How tense San Remo was deep. How exciting I can only imagine it would have been had I had a stack at my first televised final table. I want to get it still.
I probably push shit too far. That's why I flame out so much deep.
Guess it's good I'm learning these lessons mostly before I turn 22.
I went home and grinded Sundays and cash, got owned in both.
I just bulldozed up to a huge stack in the 200r, and then into the chip lead deep, and then I just sucked. I got so spewy, I was thinking about it the rest of the night.
I want to grind today, since I can't play the $1,500. Hopefully go to 'O' later tonight. Seriously, all I want to do is grind right now, when I have this setting. It will be harder to find work areas this good for a little while. I want to get some hands in.
I never was feeling like grinding after San Remo and now that the hunger is back I went to get back in it. Relaxation is planned for later.
I'm going to go to the beach and stay there till a trip to a live tournament sounds like a treat again.
