It’s Hard To Get Out Of It

Digital pictures of Dubai go by on BBC, talking about the debt. The debt, the debt, the debt, the trade surplus, imports, exports, money, what determines everything. All they ever talk about.

I uploaded 200 photos on Facebook but then the thing spazzed out.

I don't like cuddling. It's hard to fall asleep.

I dance and hang out with a random girl all night and of course there are pics and the girl is weird looking. So standard.

And I'll start it up again in a few hours, now that I woke up at 6:00 PM.

I don't know where all my money goes.

I have no idea what I am doing after this. I have called my friends in Korea like three times, no answers. They all work weird hours at bars, or are out half the time. It's not unexpected. Just irritating.

I debate switching from BBC to Fox News for hilarity value.'

None of my clothes are cleaned.

I don't know how many days I have left in this hotel.

The shower keeps dripping because I can't figure out how to totally turn it off.

90% of me wants to just be back in Seattle. I'm tired. But I know there's no home back there. I'll be sleeping on my friends couches. No desks, nothing. There will be my friends and that will be great, and my family, but I feel in suspension.

Probably just need to communicate. Get my shit together.

I have videos for Pokerpwnage to do but my mic is broken. I tried doing a video with my computer mic and my voice came out tiny, when on tests it sounded fine. Tried again and the same thing. Annoying.

I want to be eating some Korean BBQ with my friends. Smoking with my friends in Seattle. Waking up at 8 PM here and just being out of it...not my thing. Although the view here is amazing. I just need to sort some things out. I've been jumping from event to event for years. I never give myself time.

I'm starting to ease out but it's difficult. I have not being playing poker, and just rethinking what I am going to do with my life.

Maybe I will just get a month-to-month apartment in Seattle and torture my stepfather by having him help me get my stuff out of storage.

I don't know though. I don't have a clue what I'm doing. All my clothes are in a storage unit in Seattle, Malta, and now with Jaka's family in California. I have no real home. My hotel here provided by Stars is almost out.

Yet everything is fine. It's just weird to go from a kid who had no idea about what he was doing, to a kid who has no idea what he's doing having way more money than he deserves, and shuffling through languages and currencies, and girls, and drinks. It's all good. Lounging. It's all good. Just disorienting. I need to sort it out.

Just going to enjoy the amazing properties here, my friends. Tsingtao beer and sushi, and this Filipina girl that somehow ended up here. Hookah and some drinks at a place later. So nice to be out of Europe and to not be a second class citizen. So nice to not be sexually frustrated out of my fucking mind. Everything seems 2D and easy to handle now. I'll handle everything. It always works out.