(3:50:59 AM) C: good night american boy
(3:50:59 AM) C: xxx

***

Seattle, USA

I’m not doing really anything new and interesting. Yet still I want to blog.

I’m just working some, writing some, reading some, and not really giving a shit. Today I laid around and then hung out with my sister for a bit, and some friends. It’s nice to just not be rushing to work all the time.

I talked to people who were involved in my life about half a year ago and they say I’ve visibly relaxed now. Side effect of going from busto to robusto again I guess.

I wish I had some of my relationships to do over, knowing what I know now, that attitude can change everything, that I could’ve smiled and had a good time during a number of trying periods. I’m good to everyone now but its easy to be when things have finally gone well. I wasn’t a great person when I wasn’t doing as well.

I let so many opportunities go by too. I’m just glad I got out, got real people in my corner, not some of the fake ass people who were around me a while ago.

It’s sad, how over the years people you were so tight with change in front of your eyes. Money really does change people. I’ve watched grateful kids turn into arrogant pricks. I’ve watched local sports stars who were grinding on the side turn into fucking couch potatos, doing nothing but playing poker. I’ve seen motivated people turn into potheads with no purpose in life but to autopilot the next donkament that pops up for a 14% ROI and a few points that only fuckoffs at Pocketfives give a shit about.

The more I smoke the more I wonder if I’m becoming like those people.

I guess it’d be one if I was playing video games all day, but I’m working out, writing a 1,000 words, and playing a few thousand cash game hands a day. I just don’t want to slip.

It’s looking more likely that in a month or so I’ll be headed to somewhere in South America. I’m contemplating an intensive Spanish class. I can’t wait. I just want to write, swim, surf (if I can learn), and grind all day. Oh and of course take some girls to some other beaches, when I want a vacation. That’s the dream any way.

I’m watching more videos. I want to put in a ton of hands and establish win rates, first at 100 PLO and 200 NLH on Stars. I’ve never played cash on Stars so in getting used to the players I want to play lower.

Hoping to get out and actually do some social things here soon. Tech N9ne’s coming through, I want to see that show. I’m trying to hang out with some old friends. Trying to see some arthouse flicks and some indie shows, get my fix of Seattle.

I just like being on the ave again. It really is one of the few places that feels like home. More than that my adopted home, my place. I’ve walked every street here over and over, I like it here.

Currently Listening To:

Lil Wyte - Doubt Me Now
Drake - The Drizzy Effect
Lil Wyte - Phinally Phamous
Jucifer - I Name You Destroyer

I haven’t updated this blog in quite some time.

I lasted 3 days in the WSOP ME, but busted well before the money. I probably played at least one hand poorly and ended up shoving 22 OTB into Sorel Mizzi’s BB and he woke up with KK. It was disheartening and I was depressed for a few days but got back in the online grind at home. I have done quite well online since the ME, with the exception of the last few days (cashout curse ldo):

[IMG]http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd135/brad2002tj/cashout-1.jpg[/IMG]

I’ve been running/playing pretty poorly lately, including a retardedly expensive Sunday, and the end result is that I’ve lost 1/3 of my remaining bankroll. I realize I’ve run exceptionally well to have the year I’ve had, but you always feel like a schmuck during the middle of a downswing. I’m just going to have to move down in stakes a bit and grind it back up.

As poker players, we have to make our peace with variance and accept it when it comes. [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

Hey everyone,

Yesterday was one of the biggest sundays of the year, had the 5k, the 1k, mill on ftp, and a ton more massive tournies.After 8 or 9 hours i into the mill and the main event mini ftops on ftp, i was CL on both with around 27 left in the mill and 60 or so left in the ftops.I ended up busting the ftops, and made 5th in the mill for 55k, i mean im happy that im finally starting to accumulate some scores but i really thought yesterday was gonna be my time to win(which would be for 220k) so that was kinda depressing to come in 5th.i had around 3.2mill at 40k 80k(in 2nd place)i opened utg 5 handed and got rejammed by rubenrtv who had 20bbs.I had AK and obviously snap called, he showed 10’s and just blanked through.then i lost a couple pots and was down to 1.2mill.The whole final table i had been playing reaaaaaaaaaaaally tight agressive because there were two donks on my left with huge stacks who kept flatting everyone and were pretty clueless on how to play.So in BB i pick up A7ss(and there was a player with 500k, and the money jump was about 20k and as i said i had been playing really tight)And one of the horrible players who had around 4.5mill opens to 200k, i rejamm for 1.1mill or so more and he thinks and calls on Q10o which is obviously horrible, and binks a 10 on the flop and i hit a 7 on the turn and then can’t get there and bust.So it was a really gross way to lose to a horrible player, but overall making a profit on a sunday is really never a bad thing.Anyway, now the wcoop is over im going to take a 2/3 week break and in a week or so im heading off to EPT london which should be really fun, i look forward to making some deep runs = ).Thanks for the support guys, see you at the tables and GL.

Pils

Seattle, USA

It’s Sunday and I didn’t play a tournament. Not a WCOOP main event, not a sunday million. Nothing. It felt good. I don’t give a fuck.

The more and more I hang out in Seattle the more I’m thinking about how long I am going to be playing poker. I’m sure it will only be my primary source of income for the next couple years at least. I don’t know how to do anything else for money.

I’ve done a ton of the crazy shit people dream to do. I haven’t had a number of the “normal” experiences most people assume you have coming up. I’ve grown up a degenerate poker player. The more I look around, the more it makes me think of my life. What it is exactly I’m doing and who I’m doing it for, and why.

I’m not depressed by any of it. I’ve had a lot of fun the last few years, and feel like I’ve gotten to do more than most people my age get to do, it’s just all a direction of life thing.

Pussy, money, weed. Pussy, money, weed. That’s really all it is.

So many talk about what they want to do. I’m happy I actually just went out and tried. I just hope I keep that track record up.

Haven’t been doing much lately. I was over at Tyler’s place for a while, just hanging out and grinding with his group, sleeping on a mattress outside the computer room. I watched some videos and talked some hands with those guys, and am feeling like I am getting a better handle on PLO. Which is good, because I am currently not winning at anything related with No Limit in any form :S

I watched the Husky game, which was awesome, and then watched Floyd Mayweather put on a clinic, which would’ve been far more interesting if Mayweather didn’t look 20 pounds heavier than a welterweight. Still made me some money, so I can’t complain too much, but I was looking for Mayweather to be tested a little more. Of course, this is boxing, the guys running it are smart pieces-of-shit who’ve destroyed the sport, so they’ll just keep milking it and have complete bullshit work ups like they had at the end of this fight.

Went out to party in the U District celebrating their first win in like 30 years. We ended up at Dante’s but I was with fellow stoners who didn’t prepare for drinking, so we ended up at some random UW apartment smoking a blunt. Helped me sleep after all the vodka and red bull I’d put into my system.

Sometimes I feel like I should be trying more to get laid, since I won’t be back in Seattle a lot and American chicks are oh so hot/actually into hooking up. It’s just hard to get excited about having to put any work into something that’s pretty much available to you on tap when you leave the states. Well, if I stay away from people of my own color that is.

Even in Egypt, being a white boy with blue eyes is so powerful. Girls whose fathers’ might literally kill them if they were found in bed with me, still talking, still out at night, still looking, still hinting. No matter how much bullshit corporate-generated insecurity you can throw at people, no matter how much manufactured guilt religion throws at people, the need to fuck something strange and new conquers all.

I’m just being lazy. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

Today I’m out of all basic supplies needed for grinding, and can’t get more till tomorrow. I kind of want to just throw my Beats on and start playing PLO but I left my charger at Tyler’s place and this computer only 20% battery left. I’m sitting around writing in Ben’s U District pad and just writing and reading. Once in a while I emerge to go do something semi[social, but until my bank account has more than $16.00 in it.

Maybe I’ll go see my friends tonight and not be a grindaholic for once.

Hey guys,

Sorry I’ve been slackin on updates, but with WCOOP going on, I’ve got my mindset completely fixated on the pokers.

Anyways, I’ve been pretty much bricking everything despite a couple deep runs, but my horses have been KILLING it - one (Grayson) following up his $90k 5th in the WCOOP with a 2nd in the $1k Monday for $57k, and another (Rafe) just now taking 5th in the $500 1r1a WCOOP for ~$68k. I’ve had a couple smaller scores to make back some WCOOP buyins - I took 2nd in the Stars $109 1r1a turbo for ~$11k, and tonight won the $109+R 20k for ~$15k. Thanks to these scores I’m only down about 11k since WCOOP started, despite having no solid WCOOP scores (including a 10k buyin).

I plan on doing a full, detailed WCOOP recap once the Main Event is over, so for now just wanted to throw this up with some good news.

As far as the 2W200k challenge, we are now at about +$70kish, with only 2-3 days left. Not lookin’ good, but obviously a good result overall.

Today’s the $2k 8-game and the $500 PLO heads-up, two events I think will be a lot of fun.

GL everyone. Be back in a few days (for real this time).

-AJK