The best smoking kush with your boys on the balcony song there ever was
Archive for November, 2009
Playa Hermosa, Costa Rica
I used to wonder what the backing guys went through on Sundays, when just every single one of their horses whiffs. Now, I don’t have to wonder anymore. I realize they must all be drug addicts or alcoholics like myself to get through this, probably on a much larger scale. Bax is probably doing lines off a hooker as we speak.
I guess Chemist probably doesn’t do anything, because of his health condition, but he just lives off of human souls anyway.
Yesterday reminded me about everything I hate about my job. My horses, who are so talented, just bricking every draw and not having a hand hold. Me losing a chip lead pot with AA again A-10 on a Q-6-2 board all-in (god poker is fun). It’s cool. It’s not like it was the ECOOP main event on iPoker. It’s not like it was 100k to first. It’s not like there weren’t 70 Euros who were just clicking pretty buttons that were left. Oh, except they were. Except…fuck, that’s fucked up…that’s exactly how it happened.
The things I want to write now is the most immature shit you’ve ever read, but its true. I really do think I’ve run like dog shit in a lot of crucial situations in my career. This shit just feeds my anger more. I know it’s all pointless at the end of the day, but its natural when you’re competitive. I don’t even give a fuck about the money. I won’t go broke. I know this. I haven’t gone broke since I was 18. I just want to see myself and my friends succeed, and I like winning tournaments. I like money too, sure, it keeps this life up. It keeps the girls at your place, food in the fridge, your sister in a school, a roof over your Mom’s head, and the dro on your table. But it’s just a side effect of winning to me.
I’m sick of feeling like the only one who knows how good I am. The amount of hours I’ve put into this game is staggering. I’m sick of watching these little shits rip three moves from my playbook two years ago and just binking off tournaments. I don’t even consider San Remo my big score, that shit’s crazy. I got so little out of that after the makeup was paid off and everything. Like 60k out of a 220k score. All anyone ever sees is the 220k score and assumes there’s no business behind it. You chop that in half that’s what I get if I have ZERO makeup, which no one ever does. I’d been on the tour all year, I had expenses. But everybody just thinks I have 220k in a fucking suitcase somewhere, that I go and grab a couple benjamins out of whenever I want bud or want to go to the mall, that’s not how it fucking works.
I’ve just been robbed so many fucking times I don’t even care anymore. Most people think they’ve been robbed, they haven’t. I’ve walked away from the final couple tables of so many live events now I have to fight the urge to open fire on everyone every time it happens. I mean really, aces to Ace fucking ten, for the chip lead, in the money, of the biggest Euro donk fest of the year. That’s wonderful. That’s great. If it’s a fucking 50 rebuy I hold there every time. I’ll just keep fucking binking for 30k and have it gone in a month. It’s cool.
I digress though, I don’t mean any of this. I’m bitching. I’m angry. Grrrrr. Tourney pro roar.
I’m half joking.
I seriously believe I’ve run under expectation, but I don’t care anymore. There’s no way Atimos is happier than I am right now, in this state of my life. I don’t even have a ton. I just feel like I feel everything. I don’t feel like I’m missing things as much. I’m living my life and no one else’s and as trivial and formulaic as that statement is it really is hard to do. People want to push you in the direction that they think will make more money, the direction that’s been tried before, the direction that doesn’t scare them as much, but it’s your job to put things in your direction. I knew one day this would happen. I never compromised. I left my high school sweetheart after being with her for four years because she wouldn’t support me in what I did. Everybody told me I was a fucking idiot for going into poker and writing.
You know it’s all worth it when you wake up and you can’t wait to get to work. That feeling you get from doing exactly what you want to do, exactly what stirs you, that’s where it’s at.
I know this year people are going to know me. Last year I went from bumming around Europe on my last $5,000 to having a few horses and six figures. This is just the start for me.
And life’s alright the way it is anyhow. I just want big scores. I want the endless summer insured.
You probably won’t see me in tournaments for a while, or till next weekend anyhow. I’m going to be doing a lot of cash grinding this week. I’m going to San Jose to chill with this girl and go to this concert, after our sports therapist finishes undoing the damage I did to my back grinding for 20 hours this weekend. I’ll hit you all up in a bit.
Currently Listening To:
Filter - Short Bus
Various Artists - Defiant’s Hip Hop Volume 1
Snoop Dogg - Tha Blue Carpet Treatment
Jucifer - I Name You Destroyer
Armin Van Buuren - A State of Trance: On The Beach
I get numerous requests for coaching a week. Interestingly, I get requests for coaching on a number of different subjects; poker, women, writing, fitness, etc. For a long time I said no to basically everyone, claiming that I was too busy and flaky to make a proper commitment as a coach (which was true.) However, as I put in my last entry I’m going to be staying home for a very long time and focusing on being productive, so I’ve decided it’s something I want to get into.
However, instead of being a simple poker coach I’ll be offering a number of services. You can hire me as a coach on basically anything you want, but the things I feel qualified teaching are:
1. Tournament poker
2. Meeting women
3. Travel
4. Style, men’s fashion/grooming
5. Working out, dieting
I hadn’t really thought of myself as a writing coach (I don’t think I’m a very good technical writer), but I just got a request for it so I might as well. [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Yo kid believe in this,
I control my underworld,
Yes the demons and the evilness,
So when the smoke clears…
And the dust returns to dirt,
A dark silhouette is going to rise up from the earth
Playa Hermosa, Costa Rica
I can’t type that much every morning because it will turn into a waste of time.
My Finnish kid is a beast and you all should know. He has like six final tables this week, and when he hit me up on Skype before he went to bed last night he was doing a HH review followed by watching videos. The MTT day ends at 6:00 AM in Malta, 7:00 AM, where he is now. That means as the sun comes up this guy this guy doesn’t get to sleep, he’s still going at it. That’s why guys like him final table all the time and that kid bitching about beats doesn’t do shiiiaaat. It’s nice to have horses that actually appreciate the stake you’re putting them on, and grind it out.
Oh, we also bought a motorcycle and a scooter, Buki and I, to help us deal with the terrain here. It all cost about 3.7k for the lot and they were newer bikes, and they run well. I’ve never had a driver’s license in my life, and I still don’t have one. I haven’t seen a cop in ages here though. The ones I see are just watching for the most obvious drug deals ever. I’m wondering about how intelligent it would be to ride around here. I’m going to do it, and I’ll found out that way, but I also wonder too.
I’m sure my mother is thrilled to read I have a motorcycle. There’s also pot holes all over the roads. There’s no street lights. Should be fun.
Oh yeah, we also picked up some monitors. 22″, and I can finally read my Hold’em Manager stats.
Those glasses Ben and I bought in Seattle are worth every cent. They totally make staring at computers all day much more enjoyable. I’m getting a lot less headaches.
I like how unAmerican this place is. It really is just some small beach town. There’s tourists sure but most of the people are really nice locals who help you with your Spanish every time you try to talk. I don’t understand how these people are not run over with people. They’ve become more protective about accepting new Latinos into their country, because there’s a ton of them, but they’ve always been so nice to me as a foreigner it surprises me. Sure, there’s dudes mean mugging me at the club, like there fucking always is if you’re an American dude out abroad. I should go up to them and explain why I thought Bush was the greatest president ever sometime. But yeah, it’s been nice here. Way different than Malta where people just yell at me every time I don’t understand them the first time they say something.
I played 400 PLO yesterday, and did all right, made a couple buy-ins. I’m still learning but I cut my tables down and really focused and it’s been going well. Maybe I’m not a one trick pony. I’m going to watch a Deucescracked vids here in a bit.
Probably going to focus on NLH cash today. I’m feeling in the mood for 16-tabling some 200 NL, and not being on fucking Stars anymore I can go back to printing money (hopefully), then see if I can retool this engine for 400 NL through 1000 NL again. That’s been my plan, by a couple months into Costa Rica I want to be in the groove at those levels again.
I gotta figure out tickets home for Christmas, and for a little puddle hopper. I’m going to a show in a couple days in San Jose with a friend of mine. Its 3.5 to 6 hours to drive depending on if you know what you’re doing. Since I don’t I’m just paying an airline 80 bucks to get me from the Liberia airport to San Jose, hang out there for a couple days, then pop back here.
Viro ftmfw. Wish I posted this one first because this is really one of the most talented MCs who works with Snowgoons and this one of the best songs they’ve ever put out, right next to every other thing this guy has done with these DJs.
If you’re getting money at this game and you’re meeting some new friends I prescribe this track.
I just made a business call today and couldn’t figure out why the person was pissed when they answered the phone. Didn’t realize I was bugging them on Thanksgiving. Wow, I’m a space case.
I guess I could do what I did last year for Thansgiving - go down to Subway and get the turkey sub. Or I could do what I am probably going to do. Not give a shit, call my family and tell them I love them and wish I was there hanging out with them, then go for a jog on the beach.
Anyways, Happy Thanksgiving today to my American friends. Eat some food for me since I can’t be in the states. Hope you’re all doing well. And yeah, I guess I hope you non-Americans are alright too. 
Oh and this new Snowgoons disc is ridiculous and I hope you are all prepared for a retarded number of links while I geek out on legit hardcore underground hip hop.
Pzo,
Alex
Playa Hermosa, Costa Rica
Sports therapists are three degrees removed from professional torturers. Buki arranged for the physical therapist of the Liberia soccer team to come to our house and do work on both Buki and I’s fucked up bodies. I’d never gotten a really deep massage like that. It was one of the odder experiences of my life. The first time he does the massage it hurts like hell, like complete hell, like had me mumbling “holy shit ow” every few minutes, and then the second time its mildly pleasant. I went for a jog this morning on the beach and it was like every step had an extra half inch of spring on it out of no where, and I don’t feel sore at all. I’ve always treated my body like the bar in a washed-up party boat, just puking behind it at the end of the night when nobody else is on deck, whenever it fit my needs for expulsion. It’s nice to feel calibrated and on my game for the first time in a while, or as on my game as my spacey ass can pull off. Eight hours of sleep, homemade meals, sports therapists, and roadwork every morning. I’m feeling wonderful.
I was hoping that feeling would lead into some strong results but, ugh, I can’t make money at cash anymore. My random experiments on Stars have ended, with me being profitable at only 100 NL (yey). I’ve gone back to being a rakeback/small site whore. Yesterday I went about setting up some accounts I could get now because I was out of the states, locked a nice rakeback deal down, then promptly lost $1,000 grinding HU. Blah.
I think I need to step up how many videos I’m watching. I’d like to beat Stars cash within the year, and just 2/4+ there’s pretty difficult. If you can beat Stars though you can beat anywhere.
It’s weird because in live poker if there’s a couple fish at the table I’ll sit down at 25/50. Online it’s a whole system. Handling regs is everything. You can’t just focus on two bad players because chances are you don’t have those anymore. You have half of one if you’re lucky.
Furthermore I need to keep learning about PLO, because Hold’em is getting boring to me. Grinding HU yesterday was just eye opening. I couldn’t find a decent guy to clobber at 200 NL and 400 NL HU. Yeah, I had a fucking edge, sure, whooopety fucking da, but as little as a year ago I could 6-table HU and rely on a decent buck. Now it’s like…damn, these people are decent now. On all sites. I gotta work harder. It worked out well for Boxer.
I’m just feeling good here. It’s a good motivation. I feel cleared of distractions. Clear of bullshit. Yesterday I got into an argument with Buki but even that made me feel better about things, because essentially him and I were like “what the fuck!?” at each other, yelled, realized we were both being stupid, then instead of both of us doing that poker player I HAZ AN EGO AND WILL NOT BACK DOWN we both just said “sorry, my bad” and moved on with our day. There’s no drama bullshit.
I’ve just been working here. I put in some hours at cash yesterday, after I worked out on the beach. That’s really nice to do every morning. I jog about 3-5 miles on the beach, then play soccer for about half an hour, and then I go for a short swim. We pay a guy a dollar on the way back home to give us a jug of water, so we can wash the dirt off our feet before we get into our rental car.
We have to turn that thing in here soon, so today we’re going to try and pick up a couple motorcycles, or a motorcycle and a scooter. I’m not sure. We need something to get around here at least. There’s just so many fucking huge hills. When we move to our sick house too we’re a bit of a hike from the beach by foot, and like two minutes away if you take anything with wheels that can take advantage of the 80° fucking incline that’s in front of your home.
Writing’s going well. Getting my thousand words in each day. It’s easy here when I can just walk out onto a balcony and look at the ocean, enjoy my morning hippie speedball. It’s wild how slowly that builds up. I wanted to review what I had after a writing hiatus for a few weeks and was shocked to realize I had a 70 page manuscript already. The thing’s reading neurotically, very ADHD, very immature, very high school. It’s a challenge turning that character into a serious protagonist that everyone can identify with, but I think I’m doing it. I’m trying to anyway.
I think I am going to grind tournaments today, especially if we get the monitors in we ordered. Wednesdays are just too good for that, and I’ve been killing tournaments, and I want to watch some vids before I go back into grinding 400 NL and 600 NL. Dropping down doesn’t seem to be working for getting me back into the groove, for some reason.
Why the fuck am I up at 7:00 AM? I’ve never woken up this early in my life before but I keep doing it here, to jog on the beach at morning. It feels weird to be up this early. Probably better for me.
You know a lot of girls be thinkin’ my songs are about them
This is not to get confused, this one’s for you
Currently Listening To:
DJ Muggs Vs. GZA - Grandmasters
Snowgoons - The Trojan Horse
Black Party Traxxx Volume One
