"The fuck...what, wait... do you mean that's my IQ?"
"Well, it was when you were a kid."
"You told me like 140 once, then 160, then you said a doctor said once 'I miiiight have an IQ higher'. You never said anything specific. Like I thought you might know, but you never said that."
"You're not supposed to tell the kid, because so often the kid just goes 'well I'm so smart I don't need to do school work."
"Oh," I concede. That sounds exactly like something I'd do. Well, if my Mom had told me that I apparently scored 186 on the IQ test the school gave me in seventh grade. I would've totally blown off school.
It'd be more flattering if she didn't tell me the only reason they gave it to me was to check for learning disabilities, because I was so bad in some of my classes, and probably the fact I was the most dysfunctional kid ever didn't help. Apparently I scored about the same in 1st grade when they wanted to throw me somewhere on account of no teacher, my mother, or father, could seem to teach me how to read. I was way behind all the other kids.
I'm obviously shamelessly barging here, but honestly I just find it hilarious my mother thought to never tell me this, I don't know, any time since I graduated high school. It would've been a fun number to throw at all the I-need-college-to-feel-good-about-myself motherfuckers who asssssuuuurrrred me the only reason I played poker was because I was so dumb.
These tests are so dumb anyway. I've heard of people scoring super high on those tests when they're young and scoring lower as adults. I heard Adam Carolla has an IQ of 90. That is completely fucking ridiculous. I mean, any kid on the west coast who listened to Loveline practically was raised by Dr. Drew and Adam and we could've had far worse role models. He seemed to (almost) always take a very balanced view and would hear everyone out. He made great points. He gave great advice to tons of kids who needed help. All the counselors, youth group leaders, friends...they couldn't help me with certain things, but Adam could, because what he was saying was so logical and obviously learned from experience. I'd love to know that guy's EQ, if that is even reliable.
I'd love to know the average poker player IQ and EQ. Guys like Watchthesea and 99nvrlosez taught me so much, they're so much smarter than me, and if not that they certainly learn way way faster. I'd love to know what exactly is ticking up in their heads.
Then again it's sad. What could all of us be doing for the world if we didn't play poker?
Life's been good. When I'm not telling you all "HAHAHAHAHA LOOK AT MY'S IQ!" I've just been chilling. I don't know why every time I write about how my love for this game is waning everyone thinks I'm suicidal, but whatever. Thanks to those of you who wrote me an encouraging letter. And yeah, el oh el, some other people.
I know I'm melodramatic and moody but for fuck's sake, I lose $50,000 or make it any couple of weeks, cut me some slack. I'm 21, I'm immature, I'm not grown. I bet you would be a lot like me. Seriously, all the cockiness and bullshit, its just a defense mechanism. It's easier for me to be bitter and angry when things come my way as opposed to depressed. I felt defeated after I blew the 100r final table and I hate that, just the swings with this never end, you have to really be focused.
It was nice too to get some help from my horses. Buki banged out a 109 win for 13.5k and Angel took second in the 8r for 6k or something. Money our associates owe us is coming back in, which is nice. I mean it's just stressful some of these swings when all of your horses run bad for a few weeks. I just say it on this blog instead of keep it in my head. Hope someone realizes I'm just trying to give you an honest look at how this is, and not looking for sympathy. I'm just a compulsive writer.
But yeah, that was nice. I was taking Natasha shopping and I just get this call going "we made you 20k, have a good day." Lauri also final tables all the time. All my guys grind so hard, it's nice to see them finally have some breaks come their way. It's hard for me to deal with it being the main guy who has all the swings go through him, but I remember what it was like coming up and living from month to month at times. It's not fun. It's way harder for them.
Spending three days with Natasha and her family was about the most relaxing thing ever. Her and I went to this park and just had some wine up in these hills, looking at a beautiful view of Costa Rica. I went and hung out with her family on a Sunday (oh my god I took a Sunday off) and actually enjoyed going to church and spending time with them. I usually hate church too, but it was just interesting seeing a Costa Rican service. They made me a great meal afterward, and just made me feel really at home. I've never been greeted quite that well, given my profession and nationality. Costa Ricans really are different.
This girl...is just so fun. And intelligent. And into the same things I'm into. And completely accepting of me. I didn't realize how many emotions and things I was bottling up. This girl just doesn't buy into anything. This is the first girl I've not played any games with. I...had no plans of getting a girlfriend in Costa Rica. Zero. I didn't think I'd meet someone I'd like this much. I'm not trying to brag or anything, I'm just happy, and it's helping me a lot to have someone stable in my life. I was pretty fine with being single for a while but this feels way better. I don't drink hardly at all anymore, just socially. I feel healthier, more stable, surrounded by good people. I don't know how I have it, considering what a colossal selfish asshole I have been in the past (or still am...depending on your opinion), but somebody up there likes me I guess.
I'm so happy to be breathing in the Seattle air and hugging my mom. Can't wait to get some good gifts for all my family members and eat some of my Uncle's delicious cooking on Christmas day.
I'm not going to lie, it was bugging me a ton, the last time I was writing, but it's stupid. Real wealth is just the people in your life, and somehow my family's gotten through so much crap and come out pretty well, and somehow I've met this wonderful girl and her great family. I'm just - normal. I forget it sometimes. I get tunnel vision.
