Kid U Not

Yeah. So I'm not the happiest guy in the world when I travel on airplanes. I'm not known by anyone, because I haven't done anything. Except for pimply ass Halo nerds who think I'm Jesus. Then a bunch of cool people do introduce themselves to me, and I thank the world for a lot of them, but going through the same small speak with poker professionals before we get to the meat of business relations is pretty tedious.

Buki and I blew $20,000+ in a week on tournament buy-ins and expenses. I played two of the best days of live poker I've played in a long time to only mincash in this 1k, ugh. We succeeded in doing nothing in the Bahamas, but me writing the longest blog post ever, and getting into arguments with all the service people there. We had one guy try to get us to sign a blank credit card statement, and we got into an argument about that. I got into a bunch of arguments about change. The prices were outrageous and hanging around poker players just pisses me off. I had a day of flying to go on and I had no energy.

It's hot. I need to take a huge piss. I had to wake up early and I didn't get my beauty rest. I'm running off of crap airport food, when normally I'm a pampered baby living in lalala Costa Rica land, where my girlfriend and maid spoil me with healthy food. The processed sugars and oil feels like a nuke on the lining of my stomach. I can't believe I used to fill the same belly with five Cisks and Turkish food every night in Malta without a problem.

We cram into this setting of four seats, facing each other. This bald white guy sits down with his Chinese girlfriend. He looks high energy. He has that look like I want something. He's jittery.

He goes, "hey I want to talk to you guys. She's a writer. She's going to interview you." I give dazed eye contact. Buki asses the situation quickly, then puts on his headphones and instantly falls asleep. I stupidly keep my eyes open.

To make this story a lot shorter I'll leave out all the crazy dialogue. Guy introduces himself as a life coach. Says a ton of people hired him after ten minutes. I nod politely, not telling this guy I've never listened to what anyone has ever had to tell me, especially when it was good advice. I'm also the biggest skeptic on planet earth.

He says he tells the truth all the time. Even the most painful things. He says he believes he can love multiple women at a time, with his girlfriend there. He wants to high five frequently. He talks excitedly. He seems just like a kid who is high on his own ADHD and believes he can solve the world. I'm sure he convinces people frequently.

They say they want to interview me. I'm wary. Poker interviews are really boring to give, and 9 out of 10 don't get published.

He then says "we want to interview you for a book. Well two books. One called the Power of the Pussy, the other, The Power of The Penis." Wasn't this in a movie?

Okay, she wants to interview you. I go okay.

"When was the last time you got laid?"

"Uhhhhh...." I give my answer.

They ask me more about my dating life. I tell them I had a couple girlfriends. I say I have one now.

"What attracted you to her at first?" She asks me.

"She respected herself. I don't know...she dresses for herself, to feel beautiful about herself, not to be attractive for other men. I dig that."

"Her smile?"

"Yeah, of course."

Somehow they got to the fact she's Costa Rican, which caused them to freak out. Apparently they were doing a section on interracial couples. They asked me how I met her. I said I lived in Costa Rica now.

"Why did you move to Costa Rica?"

He looks at me hard and goes, "Ask him about his childhood. I bet he had an awful childhood. Why else would you be living somewhere else so young? You're looking for love you didn't get huh?"

Sick cold read doc. Of course, my first thought is he can probably apply this to most 21-year-old's who have established a life anywhere other than their home country. He's acting as if he's had this amazing revelation about me however.

"Yeah,"I say begrudgingly. "Yeah, sure."

We never get onto the rest of the interview because the guy launches into his thirty minute push, complete with insane stories, proclamations of truth, an exercise where he wants me to hold his girlfriend's hand, more insane stories, tons of questions, and then finally the dude hands a piece of paper to his girlfriend. The girlfriend reads it out, going...

***

I'm having a hard time writing anything.

That story could've been so much more vivid but I was kind of just confused by the dude's whole thing. He didn't seem malicious. I could write 20 pages though about what that dude crammed into an hour. And then he went, "I WANT TO ADOPT YOU!". I just was like okay what the fuck. I acted into it and whatever to speed things up, and to just let him talk while I glazed out, but that was just weird to me, I don't know.

I've been having a lot go on in my life lately, none I want to talk about. You get people close to you when you're me that don't always mean well. Family members, friends, everyone. I don't know who to trust sometimes. I'm relaxed and good to people and I just get run over sometimes. I'll take it if I get to keep the real people I've met, but still...it gets old. The same god damn patterns. I just want to live my life and be free of the fucking idiots who dragged me down for so long.

Moving into our house took more work than we realized. We had to rig up the satellite internet, move all the furniture to better suit our needs, hook up a whole new network setting, hire a new cook, and there were other things. Now that we're all moved in I'm super happy with the house.

Like I can't think of a more relaxed place to be in. This morning I woke up to eggs and toast for breakfast made by our maid. I took my scooter down the street to the beach, jogged six miles, drove back. I did a Rosetta Stone lesson, wrote a 1,000 words in my book, got a Pokerpwnage lesson done, and then grinded for six hours. When my girlfriend comes over we just lay around in the hammock in front of my room. I do a lot of my writing there at a desk in my room.

I still wake up and look at the woman I'm dating, the house I live in, and the friends I have and I still really can't believe it. I guess I hope I never get used to it. I mean right now I'm chilling, having a smoke out on my patio looking at the ocean, washing it down with fresh squeezed orange juice my maid just brought me. Like Wtf, when did this happen?!

We even got a dog. I always wanted a dog. Now we got one running around while we grind, perking everyone up after 3 outters.

***

Sigh, this blog is so disconnected because I'm so disconnected.

You're not going to get much out of me for my first blog post but a rusty comeback. A stutter. Some blather. Some bowlshit.

My birthday was great, save for a few problems. Buki grilled a mean ass steak and my girlfriend came down to see me from San Jose. Getting to spend time with her has become a welcome new decompresser. She's just so intelligent, and I can talk with her forever. Our cultures are so different, but I enjoy seeing things her from her view. She's had the Christian upbringing and seen the insanity that is San Jose, she has a balanced and realistic view of the world.

I guess that's something I never fully realized till now, the value in bouncing ideas off of someone that's not my sex. Naty always sees things in far softer textures. She's much more aware of the ramifications of certain things that I am simply oblivious too, as I am not as emotionally intelligent. However, I feel I contribute more in the realm of just cold hard logic. When I'm running a business it's one of the most helpful things in the world, just having a smart woman in my life to talk to about things. She gives me perspective into how everyone must be feeling and why. I have my own theories on how to handle poker players when they're emotional, especially my horses, but her views make everything much more clear to me. I feel it's really advanced me to being a much better leader, to being much more aware of my surroundings, awareness I would not possess if I were to rely solely on my male need to build and destroy.

It's why I'm not blogging as much. I don't know how it happened but somehow my crew is one of the most legit groups of people I've ever met. Buki pointed out too, "well before your blog was your way of communicating, getting feedback, and sorting out your life. Now you're talking to me, Ben, Angel, Judi, everyone all the time. You're getting feedback and learning from people with different perspectives."

It's been true, I've been going through a very difficult patch of my life and just these discussions every night, sorting through things, have helped me immensely. I feel brand new now, washed of the filth. I feel healthy. I don't drink hardly anymore. When I do drink it's fun and enjoyable again, and I can handle it. I still just want to have a couple Imperials and a gin and tonic, as opposed to my old four vodka red bulls, three henny and cokes, and then 10 other drinks that will be handed to me at various times during the night between spliffs. Oh, and if we're in St. Julian's or Prague don't forget that absinthe.

Yuck. I want to barf again just writing that. I love being back in shape, tanned, fit, healthy, ready to go. I feel like a fucking beast now. I'm getting deep every time I grind, and I have this new "fuck you it's over" attitude. I don't know where it came from, but I feel like I'm finally in the spot nobody wanted me in, that my own mother took steps to strip from me, and now I'm going to bash in anyone else who gets in my way.

I was out of it, worried about my mom's problems, having my own problems, letting people drag me down. I feel clear minded now. I reach out to people again. I laugh again. I smile again. I can write again. I feel like myself again. I'm not a dick to everyone anymore, because I'm so jealous of how easy it is for everyone else to get out of bed in the morning. Now I'm jumping up because I have so much I want to do during the day, and I'll probably enjoy 90% of it (except for the bookkeeping).

By the way, when I was in school we were told to put the period inside the parentheses. But I still see everyone putting the period outside, including me. What the hell is right?

Wutank apparently had a bet that I would die by the end of 2009. He's happy he lost. I wish I knew how much it was for, and what odds he were getting.

Whatever he got was an absolutely awful price. You'll never fucking kill me. El oh el. That's rich.

I want to write to you guys forever but I gotta go make some money to fuel this whole thing. That and I'm dying for a jog. Pzo Pzo

I'll be blogging daily now probably since I'm back on Earth.