Berlin, Germany
I didn't have much go right for me today in Berlin. I showed up 20 minutes late, which isn't unusual for me and it's not really a big deal with the new EPT structures but its a bad habit to get into and this isn't just my money. My investors expect the best from me, and I deliver, and that doesn't mean slacking off. I just got slowed down in the morning. The damn taxi driver long hauled me and then hit traffic. Dumb ass.
I was proud showing up. Naty and I got to bed early. I slept eight hours. I played really well, but went from 30,000 to 12,000 like it was nothing. I was really pissed off, but I told myself to grow up and play my game. At the break I went and saw Naty, and she had a really healthy breakfast ready for me and some coffee. I chilled out after that and just went and played my game. I spotted a BS squeeze and just jammed over it. I took some chips. Got up to 20k. I love the new EPT structures, it gives me so much time.
I got moved to a new table, that wasn't as juicy as my first table. I had some good players at my first table but some guy check/jammed 200 BBs with nothing on the turn at my first table. I kiiiiiiiiinda wanted to stay there. Instead this one Asian kid who grew up in Germany, and I don't know, I can just tell a good player when I see one and this kid's fantastic. Great attitude, great game, and fucking awful to have at my table. Every time I screwed up and flatted too fast he punished. It was annoying.
The other players weren't ballas but they could play ball, and I just wasn't thrilled. I mean I saw some goofy crap but not nearly as much. Only one play or two, not every damn hand. They weren't afraid to gamble. That sucks.
I flopped two sets. I doubled up on one and got 40k. I got mad active, and started building. I flopped the second one on a PERFECT board versus a player who was getting frustrated, and got no action. Nothing went that well from there. I had a bunch of really tough hands. Ran AQ into QQ. Then AQ into KK. AK lost to 10-10. Bah humbug.
I played two hands poorly, well, poorly for me. Most players would write them off as small mistakes but I'm not like that. I made one river bluff versus the German kid that looks meeeeeeeh on paper but I just felt was wrong. He picked me off easily, I wasn't surprised, and I was mad at myself for pissing away the chips. I also missed an obvious squeeze, like it was just such a good spot, and I just chickened out. I felt like the initial raiser was fed up with me and the 4bet was coming, when really the guy was just doing the oldest most elementary trick in the book, "if I stare this little shit down maybe he'll be intimidated." Oh well, I did way too many squeezes and crazy ass plays for a while, and I'm glad I have some patience now, but still, grrrrr, the spot was so GOOD and it was just there and I missed it. Those all add up.
I was happy however. I feel so healthy. I didn't need my old crutches to get me through. I don't have the hatred I used to have for all living things. I showed one fourbet bluff angrily today but just because everyone was threebetting me and I was annoyed, not because I actually hated the guy. I told him nice bet later and I could tell he knew I wasn't serious. I actually talked at the table, which I rarely do, because it was obvious everyone had an idea who I was and the situation changes then. People want to talk. Poker players spend a lot of time alone at home and naturally want to talk with their colleagues. I get screen names and a general idea of where they are in their poker development. One guy today told me he watched my early videos on Pwnage. I would've had NO IDEA about that if we hadn't chatted. Of course, I give away I'm a professional, and sometimes it works against me, but hey seeming relaxed and chatty at the table seems to work for Negreanu.
Oh well. I'm at the top of my game now. I've grown as a person over the last couple years. I played calm thinking man's poker all day today, and I didn't need anything to do it. I just am myself now. I don't know, I was so insecure for so long, and now I'm just playing steady. I got a lot going for me. I used to be obsessed with what I didn't have. I just relax, realize I'm doing alright, and work to better it.
I just have clear goals now and I want to win one of these, and buy some properties in Central America. I want to lay down on my own leather couches in my own house and watch my own big screen TV, and have my family over, my Costa Rican family, all my homies, and of course my woman. I want to build. It's frustrating not getting to get closer to that, but you can't win every trip. I'm feeling all right. It's not a matter of "if" anymore it's "when."
